why we keep upgrading

Last month, my cousin Priya called to show off her new living room.

She'd bought this Italian leather sofa. Deep grey, minimalist, the kind you see on Instagram. ₹2.8 lakhs.

"I'm so happy with it," she said.

Six months later, she called again. This time, stressed.

The sofa looked perfect in the showroom. But at home, everything felt wrong. Her coffee table suddenly looked cheap next to it. The curtains clashed. The lighting made the leather look dull.

So she upgraded. Coffee table: ₹45,000. Curtains: ₹18,000. Lighting: ₹32,000. Rug: ₹28,000. Wall art: ₹22,000.

Within six months, that ₹2.8 lakh sofa triggered ₹1.45 lakh in additional purchases.

"Everything looks mismatched now," she said. "I need to repaint the walls. Maybe change the flooring too."

That's when I realized: she wasn't being indulgent. She was trapped in a 255-year-old psychological pattern.

In 1769, French philosopher Denis Diderot received a beautiful scarlet dressing gown as a gift.

He loved it. Until he didn't.

The new robe made everything in his study look shabby. His straw chair felt cheap. His simple desk looked pathetic.

So he replaced them. One by one. Leather chair. Expensive writing table. Costly paintings.

By the time he finished, Diderot was in debt. He wrote: "I was absolute master of my old dressing gown, but I have become a slave to my new one."

This pattern now has a name: the Diderot Effect.

One premium purchase disrupts everything you own. Your brain can't handle the mismatch. So you spend until everything "matches" again.

And once I understood this, I started seeing it everywhere.

The wedding that never ended

My friend Rahul got married last year. The wedding cost ₹18 lakhs. Standard middle-class affair.

But watch what happened after.

New furniture for the home: ₹4.2 lakhs. "The old stuff looked too bachelor-like," he said.

Upgraded appliances: ₹2.8 lakhs. "The fridge looked dated next to the new modular kitchen."

Car upgrade: ₹8 lakhs. "We couldn't show up to family events in my old Maruti."

New wardrobes for both: ₹1.8 lakhs. "Had to match our new lifestyle."

Honeymoon in Maldives: ₹4.5 lakhs. "Everyone's doing international now."

Within 12 months, they'd spent another ₹21 lakhs. The wedding didn't just happen. It reset their entire consumption baseline.

India's wedding market hit ₹10.79 lakh crores in 2024. We spend 2x more on weddings than 18 years of education.

Every wedding triggers 50 more purchases you never planned.

The car that demanded accessories

My friend Rajesh bought a new Creta. ₹18 lakhs.

"Finally," he said. "Premium SUV."

Three months later, I saw it. Mud flaps. Seat covers. Dashboard camera. Alloy wheels. Premium sound system. Roof rails he'll never use.

"How much did all this cost?" I asked.

"Just ₹1.12 lakhs," he shrugged. "Everyone upgrades. The basic model looked incomplete."

The car didn't feel complete until it matched every other Creta he saw on the road. That's the Diderot Effect in action. Your new purchase creates a new standard. Everything below that standard feels inadequate.

Premium vehicles now represent 48% of all car sales in India, up from 44% last year. And every premium car buyer is upgrading their home, wardrobe, and lifestyle to match.

The iPhone trap

Here's where it gets interesting. Tech companies figured this out decades ago.

Buy an iPhone? Suddenly your AirPods, Apple Watch, and MacBook feel inevitable. The ecosystem doesn't just work better together. It makes everything else feel broken.

My nephew bought an iPhone 15 last year. ₹80,000. Within three months: AirPods (₹18,000), Apple Watch (₹42,000), MacBook (₹1.2 lakhs).

"They all sync," he explained. "My Android stuff felt clunky."

That's ₹1.6 lakhs triggered by an ₹80,000 phone. He didn't plan any of it. Each purchase made the next one feel necessary.

Buy one Sabyasachi outfit?

Your entire wardrobe suddenly feels cheap.

India's luxury fashion market hit ₹78,000 crores because one premium piece triggers a cascade of matching purchases.

Here's what makes the Diderot Effect particularly brutal in India right now.

Instagram. 362.9 million of us scroll through perfectly curated homes daily. Every post programs dissatisfaction with what we own. 

61% turn to Instagram to find their next purchase. 

87% take action after seeing a product.

EMI culture.

That ₹2.8 lakh sofa becomes "₹23,000 per month."

India's Buy Now Pay Later market hit $15-19 billion in 2024. Credit card spending grew 27% to ₹18.26 lakh crores. Monthly payments make every upgrade feel affordable.

Retailers know this. 

IKEA's maze-like stores achieve 2.2% conversion by showing complete room setups. 

80% of furniture purchases convert with financing versus 20% for cash. They're selling the cascade.

What we lost along the way

My grandmother's dining table is 60 years old.

Solid teak. Traditional joinery. No nails. It's been sanded twice, repainted three times, moved across four cities. Still the centerpiece of every gathering.

Priya's ₹45,000 coffee table? Particleboard with veneer. Expected lifespan: 5 years.

That's the shift. Indians now replace furniture every 5 years instead of decades.

Traditional repair culture is dying.

India will generate 165 million tonnes of waste by 2030, nearly triple current levels.

We've chosen replacement over repair.

And the Diderot Effect accelerates this faster than ever.

After watching Priya's spiral and Rajesh's upgrades, I created three rules:

Research backs this. Cooling-off periods reduce regrettable purchases. The "one in, one out" rule breaks the upgrade cycle.

But the most powerful shift: recognizing that grandmother's 60-year-old teak table is worth more than any Instagram-perfect particleboard that'll last five.

Diderot couldn't undo his cascade. We can.

Every time you upgrade one thing, your brain will make everything else feel inadequate. That's not a character flaw. It's psychology.

The question is whether you'll let that feeling control your wallet.

Priya finally stopped.

Her walls are still the old color. She's learning to appreciate the "mismatch." Turns out, homes don't need Instagram coherence. They just need to feel like home.

Hit reply and tell me: What's the one purchase that triggered your biggest spending spiral?

I read every email.

Until next week,
Ritesh

P.S. The furniture boom, the wedding spending, the tech ecosystems: they're all feeding on the same 255-year-old vulnerability. Now you know its name.